Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
