Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
