i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
