So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
