don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
