Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize