Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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