what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
