im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
His nipple licking is glorious
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