those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
