Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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