The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
