remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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