There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
