I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
