Did you just see the Batmobile???
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize