I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
