it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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