Christians are straight up FREAKS
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
