I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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