I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
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