this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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