I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
