I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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