You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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