It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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