all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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