But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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