Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
