My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
