I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
The Olympian is in my bed
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
