Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
