We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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