Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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