Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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