let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
