You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
