she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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