what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
