ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Blood and glitter go together right?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
