My balls are so social today.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
