Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize