i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
