Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
