Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
