i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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