i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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