I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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