it wasn't lemon gatorade
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
