You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
