i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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