He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
MIDGETS
????
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
