Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
