The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
