dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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