What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
