weddingsv make me drug and hornr
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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