Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
