i was born a porn star she said
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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