What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
