Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
