is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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