So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
