Pregnant stripper...not hot.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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