Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
