hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
